Salsa - If you try and eat tortilla chips without salsa, you must as well try and eat a bag of salty dirt because they basically taste about the same. Salsa can also turn any microwave burrito into a sensual eating experience.
Mayonnaise - People either love or hate mayonnaise, but the ones the love it... well, they and their gigantic asses really love it. Either way, you can't deny the condiment dominance of mayonnaise over the years.
Hot Sauce - A slice of pizza isn't complete without a giant dose of hot sauce. Neither are mashed potatoes, potato salad, Au Gratin potatoes, macaroni salad, cole slaw, burritos, nachos or canned cat food.
Sour Cream - Anything that tastes incredibly delicious almost always has sour cream in it and you can always tell who eats a lot of it because they typically don't have a neck and their cheeks are almost touching their eyelids.
Mustard - Even though mustard has lived in the shadow of ketchup for decades, it's the real man's condiment when it comes to eating hot dogs. All those ketchup-only hot dog eaters are total pussies if you ask me.
Maple Syrup - It's unfortunate that we don't find more ways to use maple syrup outside of pancakes and french toast. You can pretty much devour anything in maple syrup and experience a gigantic taste explosion.
Barbecue Sauce - Chickens and their mighty McNuggets would be about as insignificant as an ostrich burger if it weren't for BBQ sauce. We also wouldn't know the life story of that weird guy Stubb's and his magical bbq sauce.
Salt And Pepper - Salt and pepper are the king and queen of seasoning and living proof that black and white can get along if they work together.
Ketchup - You simply can't go wrong with ketchup because it goes well with everything. In fact, I'm pretty sure that people who have been forced to eat humans over the years due to extraordinary circumstances got through the experience because they had ketchup.
Ranch Dressing - All other condiments must bow before the mighty ranch dressing. Its creamy deliciousness knows no boundaries and it should've replaced ketchup as the number one condiment for french fries years ago. The only bad moment I ever had with ranch dressing was back in college when I was making manicotti late one night and realized I had no marinara sauce. Once I figured out that I had a bottle of ranch dressing, I decided to proceed with cooking the manicotti. Let me tell you that "Ranchicotti" is a dish that will never take off at the Olive Garden, but I don't blame the ranch dressing... I blame myself.
