The Girl You Meet After Your Third Jager Bomb
You should never trust your judgment after three Jager Bombs. No good can come of any decision you make at that point.
The Girl That’s There With Her Boyfriend
If you’ve got the balls to hook up with a girl while her boyfriend is in the same bar you’re more of a man than us. That said, you’ll probably get your ass kicked. And that’s the best case scenario. The worst case? You’ll get a threesome invite – and we mean the wrong kind of threesome.
The Bachelorette
The idea of hooking up with a bachelorette and being her last fling might seem like a good one, but it’s not. The reality is that she’ll get cold feet before closing the deal and leave you with a case of blue balls.
The Girl That Wants To Hook Up With You
You know that famous quote about not wanting to be a part of any club that would have you as a member? Well, there’s a reason for it. If you’re drunk in a bar and a woman is throwing herself at you, there’s probably a reason. And it’s not your “charm.”
The Girl Singing Alanis Morrisette Karaoke
This girl might seem like a worthy hookup because she will go down on you, but then she will go crazy. Real crazy.
The Girl Whose Girlfriends Are Excited You're Talking To Her
When you start flirting with a girl in a bar it’s important to look around and see how that girl’s friends are reacting to the situation. If they’re trying to pull the girl away from you, then you know they think she can do better than you (and she probably can) so she’s a catch. But if they’re excited that you seem to be hitting it off with her? Run for the hills.
The Shooter Girl
Shooter Girls get hit on and groped all night long in every bar in America. In order to hook up with one, you’ve got to buy a lot of shots. And we mean A LOT. So many that when it comes time to reap the reward from your investment, you likely won’t be able to get your own shooter up anyway.
Tara Reid
We know this is pretty specific, but we assume that Tara Reid can be found in any bar in America at some time or other and it would always be a mistake to hook up with her and not just because she’s a sloppy mess. There’s also that whole “Carson Daly’s been there” issue.
The Girl You Think Is Not Like All The Others
Hate to break it to you, but in the sober light of day you will realize she actually is EXACTLY like all the others.